


Find me

by 2Dsheep



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 11:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2Dsheep/pseuds/2Dsheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi has been searching for Erwin as soon as his memories of a world of titans and walls came rushing back to him but so far he's had no luck.</p>
<p>What is the point in a second chance if you're missing what was most important the first time round?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find me

Crowds of children, groups of friends and couples clutching close interspersed throughout the mass of people swayed and churned much like the waves of the sea below. Most people were staring out at the horizon waiting for the sunset, a myriad of colours already blossoming upwards from where the sky met the sea. Only Levi faced the other way, his back to the wonderful masterpiece captivating those around him. Instead his eyes gazed out to the crowd, searching. 

He never wanted to believe in a notion as feeble as fate, but Levi thinks back to the first person he met from his old life; that life full of monsters and walls, loss and grief. It was the first day of university when Levi’s eyes had crossed Farlan’s. The moment their eyes met Levi felt every memory, thought and feeling that he’d built as orphan Levi from the underground, constructed as Captain Levi of the Survey Corps come flooding in. The breath had been knocked out of him and every inch of his body tingled. Farlan had simply smiled and told Levi how he had regained his memories a few months earlier bumping into Isabel at a train station. 

Through coincidence or searching or being found Levi had found most of the people he had cherished in his old life. But he was missing the most important. 

Many times Levi had questioned if it was fate’s cruel joke, to be granted a life of peace but at the cost of losing him. He often wondered if he was being punished and this was his own personal hell. 

Levi threw his eyes out to the crowd one last time but it was a normal day; nothing out of the ordinary. This wasn’t the day for something spectacular. 

Just as he made to leave he saw a flicker of gold hair further down the pier. The person had their back to Levi, leaning casually against the ledge but there was almost no denying it. 

“Erwin?” 

But the fear of disappointment kept his feet tethered to the ground and a shaky hand glued to the railing. How many times had this happened before? He was so desperate to find him that his heart leapt at the sight of every tall blonde he came across. Could he survive his hope building up again only for an unknown face to turn back to him?

While fighting against himself he lost sight of them man for a second, panic clenching in his chest. Sensing himself relaxing by seeing the man still stood there, he knew it was worth at least trying. 

After all these years. Levi had almost given up. The world was simply so vast and so large. And the damned man had the most unoriginal name. Searching for him with little more than that had proved to be an impossible feat. So what more could he have done but wander and search and hope against logic and rational thought?

Levi pushed through the crowd, straining to keep his head high lest he lost sight of the man to the bodies so tall around him; just another wall keeping Erwin away from him. 

He called his name once more and saw Erwin’s head perk up. 

This close he could see the all familiar width of his shoulders, his trim waist and even the style of his hair. It seemed old habits die hard for all of them, Levi thought, unconsciously brushing his fingers through his own undercut. 

He called out again when he was less than 5 metres from him.

“Erwin, it’s me Levi.”

Finally reaching him, he placed a hand on Erwin’s elbow, gentle enough that it surprised him to see Erwin flinch. 

“I’m sorry, who?”

The burning remnant of the sun was shining over them both, and Levi struggled to see clearly due to the light, but there was no doubt it was him. However, Erwin seemed to be looking straight over him. 

“Erwin look at me.” Levi tugged at the collar of his shirt, yanking him down to eye level, finally catching his glance. 

He felt the world shatter beneath his feet, his heart dragged down in one swift, violent tug. Erwin was looking straight at him, but those startling deep-ocean blues that always blazed with such passion had been replaced with eyes pale and unseeing. Only then did Levi see the white cane in Erwin’s hand.

This wasn’t the reunion he had imagined over and over in his head. Of every scenario he’d pictured this wasn’t one of them. Could there be anything crueler than this? 

“I’m really sorry, I don’t know a Levi. I think you have the wrong person.”

Levi still hadn’t let go of Erwin’s shirt, angry denial strengthening his grip, threatening to tear the fabric. This was his Erwin, he had no doubt of that. Everything from the curve of his lips, the arch of his eyebrows, the cut of his jaw, it was all exactly how he remembered it. But without his memories could it ever really be his Erwin?

“But you know my name. Have we met? Though your voice seems unfamiliar…”

“No… I…You just look like someone I knew once.”

Levi uncurled his fingers one at a time, feeling everything he’d clung to for years unravel with them. 

Yet he couldn’t bring himself to move away, his eyes lingering and his fingers itching to touch the man once more. 

“Do you live around here?”

The question startled Levi. Despite the hustle of people surrounding them both his world had faded mute, but Erwin’s voice rang loud and clear. Oh how long he had waited to her that sultry richness just once more. He realised he had been quiet for too long when Erwin shuffled, his stance slightly uncomfortable. Levi shook himself out of his thoughts. A quick conversation couldn’t hurt, for now at least. 

“Erm, no. I mean, I travel a lot so I’m staying here for a few weeks before I move somewhere else. You?” 

“I’m visiting an old friend. He’s caught up at work unfortunately so I thought to make use of this lovely evening and went for a walk.”

Levi looked up at him, his heart stuttering to see him smiling ever so gently. 

This man was his Erwin. Levi had spent enough nights watching his sleeping face, so much time under the sheets studying his body with his fingertips, with his lips. But now that he had a chance to look closer he could see the subtle changes that this life must have been kinder to Erwin. The frown lines that Levi would often smooth his fingers over are barely there, his eyes may have been drained of their cerulean but the shadows that stained underneath ceased to exist also. 

“It’s strange. You’re blind yet here you are staring out towards a sunset.” 

“You’re rather blunt aren’t you?”

Levi felt like kicking himself, or simply throwing himself off the pier.

“Sorry. I get told it’s one of my worst qualities but I never learn.”

Erwin chuckled. 

“No, please don’t apologise. In fact, it’s rather refreshing.” 

Levi almost forgot how to breathe. Erwin, his Erwin, had said the same thing. He wouldn’t often admit it, but he had enjoyed Levi’s honesty and sass. “Just not with the nobles we’re trying to impress please, Levi.”

He smiled at the memory. By some mercy it was the good memories that had remained clearest in his mind.

“You’re focusing on what I’m missing out on.” Erwin said, his wistful voice shaking Levi from his thoughts. “I choose instead to embrace what I can sense. I feel the warmth of the sun on my cheeks. I can smell the salt thrown about in the waves below us. I can hear children laughing on the fairground rides. It’s all beautiful”

Levi looks up at the man. He is both a stranger and a most intimate companion, but he is also neither and it tore him apart inside. Despite the circumstances, Erwin seemed to have been able to find peace in this life. Who would Levi be to interrupt that? 

With an unbearable heaviness in his legs he turned from Erwin. “Well, I hope you enjoy the sunset. Goodbye, Erwin-”

“Levi. don’t you think it a strange coincidence? I both look like and share a name with this person you’re looking for.”

It was far too easy to turn back. Levi wondered if he ever really intended on leaving. After all, he’d thought of nothing but finding this man for over a decade.

“It’s a funny world we’re living in.”

“Simply fascinating.”

For the briefest of moments, Erwin wore one of his ever recognisable creepy smiles, and the familiarity jarred Levi slightly, but it was quickly replaced with something much softer. In their old life seeing Erwin smile was such a rarity that this evening had left Levi almost overwhelmed, a blissful ache thrumming with his heartbeat. 

“Say Levi, before you leave, there’s this restaurant I want to try. Won’t you take pity on a blind man and help me find my way?”

Erwin flashed a smile so gorgeous that Levi almost failed to notice the implication in the man’s request. He tried to scoff but it sounded much too like a laugh, shrouded in his sheer disbelief. 

“You disgust me. How many times have you tried that one?”

“A few.”

“And it works?”

Erwin grinned, his whole face lighting up. “Every time.”

Looking like that, how could Levi possibly say no? He gave an exaggerated sigh and feigning reluctance he agreed. “So, where were you thinking?”

“My friend recommended the Stohess Inn near the-”

“No, you don’t want to go there. I’ll take you somewhere better.”

Levi turned to lead the way but faltered, unsure of how to do this. As if sensing his uncertainty Erwin spoke out; “Don’t worry. Just keep talking to me and I’ll follow beside you.” 

After getting accustomed to one another’s pace they walked in unison along the pier and Levi found it just as easy to talk to Erwin as it always was, though no doubt different. This Erwin spoke softer, a lightness in his step as if he wore no burden on his shoulders. 

Looking at him, so beautiful and worthy, Levi decided he could take the time to learn this new Erwin.


End file.
